Things that never occur to me. Part One

Sitting in Soho House last night sucking up a raspberry puree martini (I always like to have a few vitamins along for the ride), the Fox entertainment reporter (I know, don't ask) opposite looked wistfully at my drink and then at hers and then said to me, "I can't look at that drink without thinking about the calories".

(Thing is, I don't actually think she was switched on enough to realise that that could have been construed as an insult. As it was, I think she was having difficulty processing that I actually appear in front of a camera, seeing as I am about 30lbs heavier than her, and don't plaster my face with Estée Lauder's finest.)