I am so thoroughly and comprehensively fed up with the horror of trying to find a new place to live. My not small single person's budget goes precisely nowhere in Manhattan, unless I wish particularly to live with those whom no one else wants in a grubby six floor walk up with a concrete floored shower. Even places out in Brooklyn: Park Slope, Fort Greene and the like aren't much cheaper and the odd taxi I'd need to take home would soon swallow up any fiscal difference - and I'd still be stuck out in Nappy Valley. I think people sometimes forget just how much more complicated everything is when you are on your own: the expense - no splitting of cab fares or rent, and the having to live with room mates. Gah.
LK hasn’t been getting many responses to his ad for my current sub-let and there is no future tenant in sight. I am fed up with paying for a room I don’t need any more – I gave a month’s notice on the 22nd Jan, but apparently that means I am liable for rent not until 22nd Feb, but until 1st March. Who knew? – and I want to move asap. Most annoying of all is that this morning I found the perfect place to live, a stupidly cheap studio that would change my quality of life here enormously, but I can’t take it before LK finds a roommate or 1st March comes around, so I'm pretty sure I'll miss that boat.
As I have got older my living environment has become the single thing that keeps me rooted, happy & sane. When that is in flux, I tend to go a little loopy. I am generally fairly Pollyanna-ish about life, a cup half full person, and so I am not enormously good at picking myself up when I get low. Right now I can’t seem to stop feeling really bloody miserable. I know I should count my blessings la la la, but I can’t and I don’t want to. So there.