May I STRONGLY suggest that you never EVER use UPS?

I ordered an expedited overnight delivery from my efficient long term contact lens supplier. Somewhere along the way the address was garbled. Maybe my fault. I’m not sure. But that's not the issue here.

I checked the tracking number this am. Apparently UPS tried to deliver on Friday (although I was told it wldn't arrive on Monday & no one was here) and cldn’t find the address. Fair enough. This happens. But no one got in touch with me from UPS, although they have my cell phone. And, hilariously, the tracking info reads “we will try to contact you/send a postcard’. What? A postcard to the wrong address?

I called UPS. It’s midday on a Sunday. Oh no we can’t get it out to you until Tuesday now. (Even tho they got it overnight from Canada last week. AND it's supposed to be an Expedited Overnight Delivery). Okay: I fly to London on Tuesday so I’ll just swing by the collection office to get it on Monday.

NOT SO FAST LLG. In the interim, the F&&KING morons at UPS have sent my parcel FROM LA to a collection office in Havasu City. For those of you who don’t live in ARIZONA, that’s five hours from LA.

I find this hard to believe. I do my best to talk some sense to the robot on the other end. But he's not having any of it. Exasperated beyond measure, I lose patience in the end. There may be some 'phone slamming.

Apparently, they can get a parcel from Canada to LA in under 24 hrs, but it appears to be beyond their capabilities to get it a five hour journey in under 48hrs.

I don’t know what is more ludicrous: the environmental waste or the sheer inefficiency of their system.

ADDENDUM: A charming customer services rep from the contacts company gets on the phone to UPS for me whilst I hold. Within five minutes she manages to apply telephonic truth serum to the morons at UPS and discovers that my contacts are not in Havasu City. They are, as logic wld dictate, in LA. I can pick them up tomorrow.

Which makes their 'no delivery until Tuesday' statement even more risible. Apparently UPS are incapable of sending a .6lb parcel a 9 mile & 14minute journey in under 48 hrs.

Dear readers: Please may I recommend FEDEX or DHL for your future shipping needs?