Saturday, October 24, 2009

Single women & the plague of married men

Why is it that I frequently seem to act like catnip on other women's partners and husbands? It certainly isn’t because I dress provocatively, (my cleavage never comes out to play), and it isn’t because I am a flirty kind of person. Frankly, if I was good at unconscious flirting, I wouldn't be single.

Perhaps I present some kind of challenge? Whatever, it upsets me that I am somehow filed in the 'try it on' category by men already in committed relationships. For the record, my father is a notorious philanderer & I have seen the effect that his actions have had on not just my mother but on his string of long term mistresses. I will never be one of those women.

So how is it that yet another man - married, oh quelle effing surprise, - told me recently that I was trouble. I am NOT flippin’ trouble. Don't try to make me responsible for your lack of self control: I'm not the married one making a pass at a single girl who has not even vaguely intimated any sexual interest in you. I have never, ever chased, come on to, or got involved with a married man knowing that he was married. If a man in a relationship thinks I am initiating something then their ego is on fire.

My sister has a theory: that she & I are self conscious & uptight when we are around men we find attractive, but when we are with men who are off limits we relax and consequently are much better company. The kicker is that the stupid vain fuckers mistake our platonic enjoyment of their company for attraction. That in itself wouldn't be a problem if they were able to control themselves. But they can't.

I also think that some men in relationships like to feel that they are still players by flirting with other women. There are also the men who married early, who have become more attractive, confident & successful with age and finally realise that intelligent, challenging women can actually be a good thing but by then it's too late.

Who knows? One could theorise for ever. Whatever the case I am just thoroughly, thoroughly fed up with the inane behaviour of so many married men. I have lost count of the amount of men who have spent an evening flirting with me, buying me drinks, and then revealing their sad punchline at the end of the evening: "I've got a girlfriend/wife". (That's the bit where I then disappear in a puff of smoke.)